What's a Wedding Got to Do With It?

Everyone loves going to weddings, right? Especially us women! Last weekend we attended the wedding ceremony for Bram’s cousin who lives here in Canada. I don’t think I've ever met him in the years Bram and I have been together but we felt it necessary to attend the ceremony even though we hadn't been invited to the reception. Everything about the wedding was beautiful – the dress, the bride, the bridesmaid dresses....even the cowgirl boots. The venue was simplistic - a rural church in the middle of a corn field...lovely. But what has stuck with me and what I have been mulling over this week was the vows.

Yes, you heard me...the vows.

I, groom, take you, bride, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. 

As I listened to this couple share vows similar to the ones above, I said to myself there is no way they can possibly grasp the vastness of what they are promising today. I know I certainly did not.

I think what I'm trying to say is that though we may think we understand love and what it means to have a meaningful marital relationship with our spouse on our wedding day....we really don’t....we can’t at that time actually. It is only through journeying and doing life together that we truly learn the vastness of the promises made the day we said “I do”. Love is so much more than a feeling, it’s a choice.

Reflecting back over the last 6.5 years of life with Bram brings to mind many circumstances (some good, and some bad) that the Lord allowed, filtered through His fingers of love to teach us and grow us in our relationship with each other and with our Heavenly Father. Within the first year of marriage Bram & I both struggled with our health, 3 years into ministry we more or less got asked to leave a local church because, after studying Scripture felt leadership was misinterpreting some passages, 4 years into our marriage I almost lost my husband in a severe motor vehicle accident that has left him with lasting implications even today, and for the last 5.5 years we have and continue to journey through infertility. No, this is most definitely not a sob story or a pity party! It is me taking the time to reflect and seeing the Lord’s hand at work through all of the above circumstances. It is because of these events I can say today, with confidence, that we have been brought into a deeper understanding of what it means to love...to be each other’s constant friend, to be faithful partners in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as sorrow, to support each other’s goals and to respect one another. Trust me, we’re not perfect and we realize that a healthy marriage takes work...daily. And to be honest...some days we stink at it. But we have come sooo far since that Saturday in early 2007 when we committed to no longer walk in this life on earth alone, but together.

What caused me to sit down and put these thoughts on paper one may wonder? It had been rolling around in my head since Saturday but today brought it all together. I was scheduled to work later tonight and knew I wouldn't see Bram before he went to play soccer. I came home early to find this...

I melted....not because it was super cute and sweet (which it totally was) but because I have the privilege of spending my life with this man, who truly loves me with all of his heart, who prays for me and who guides us towards righteousness in Christ...together. “I love you” has a whole new meaning!

The parallels between marriage and God are cool too. Can we not say the same thing about our relationship with the Lord? When we first accepted Christ as our Saviour, did we really grasp what we’d been given and freed from? Did we know how to grow stronger in our faith? The same is true with God. He allows circumstances to come into our life – all filtered through His fingers of love – to bring us into a closer relationship with Him. It’s easy to “love” someone when things are going smoothly in life, but more challenging when life seems like it’s been turned upside down. The amazing thing about God is that He is constant, He is the firm foundation upon which we stand, He is our Elohim...Creator.

If you are reading this and are not married or have experienced the pain of divorce....I ache for you. Certainly what I have just typed has moved me because of my experience. This blog is not a knock because you aren't married, but it is just me seeing God at work throughout my married life. Friend, God IS at work in your life too, through even your most painful experiences. Please see my heart in writing this...an encouragement to press into the difficult circumstances that come our way for they are building our character and drawing us into a more intimate relationship with Jesus.

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;”
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8